The invisible gift moms really want this year
Every year, Mother's Day prompts a flurry of Hallmark card purchases, brunch reservations, and frantic (maybe even last-minute?) searches for the perfect bouquet. Don't get me wrong—these gestures are lovely and appreciated. But for many moms, the gift they really want isn’t something that can be wrapped. It’s recognition of—and help with—the mostly unseen work that keeps the family ship afloat.
Motherhood is a beautiful, messy, and often thankless job. Of course, there are exceptions to every rule, but by and large we are the chore assigners, the appointment schedulers, the emotional first responders, and the glue that holds the family unit together. This "invisible labor" often goes unnoticed and unappreciated. This, in turn, can negatively affect mothers’ wellbeing and their partner relationships.
The term "invisible labor" refers to the countless, often unacknowledged tasks that keep a household running smoothly. Imagine a to-do list that scrolls endlessly in your mind. It includes grocery lists, school schedules, dentist appointments, and constantly nudging family members to pack a lunch, finish homework, and (for the love of all that is clean) put dirty socks in the hamper. It's the emotional labor of anticipating needs, mediating squabbles, and offering on-demand hugs and tissues.
“Imagine a to-do list that scrolls endlessly in your mind. It includes grocery lists, school schedules, dentist appointments, and constantly nudging family members to pack a lunch, finish homework, and (for the love of all that is clean) put dirty socks in the hamper.”
So here’s what we want:
Time: This doesn't have to be an expensive spa day (though those are lovely too!). Free moms up for a few uninterrupted hours. Let them sleep in, take a long walk, read a book, or simply enjoy a cup of coffee in silence.
Initiative: Don't wait for mom to ask. Look around the house and see what needs to be done. Fold laundry, unload the dishwasher, mow the lawn, or tackle that ever-growing pile of bills.
Partnership: Open communication is key. Talk to your mom, partner, or wife about how the household responsibilities can be more fairly distributed. Create a chore chart or schedule that works for everyone and take the lead on scheduling check-in meetings to make sure your new process is working.
Emotional Support: Motherhood can be emotionally draining. Be there to listen without judgment, offer words of encouragement, and recognize the emotional labor moms put in every day.
Consistency: This isn’t a one-time thing! Moms need family support year round.
Let's be honest, Mother's Day shouldn't be the only day families acknowledge the contributions of mothers. But it can serve as a powerful reminder to shift the paradigm. By taking on some of the invisible labor, we can show moms that we appreciate them, not just on one Sunday a year, but every single day.
Posted by Alison Cashin, Director of Communications
