Preparing for back-to-school at every age
The home stretch of summer has begun, and for many kids school may be starting in just a week or two. The end of the summer can bring many emotions (for kids and parents alike), and the best way to support kids in feeling safe and secure with a big transition is to feel comfortable with it yourself. One of the most important parts of navigating this busy time lies in thoughtful preparation.
Use the three tips below to confidently step into a new school year, ease the stress, and tune into feelings of excitement for a new chapter.
Tip 1: Establish a routine.
Routines provide structure and help kids feel secure, which is why it’s so important to stick to a routine while preparing for a new school year. Although bedtimes and expectations may shift in the summer due to the myriad of things parents navigate (e.g., childcare, work, camps, vacations, and more) getting back into a better rhythm can help children thrive. Predictability can feel safe when we are experiencing anxiety about the uncertainty that transitions bring. Here are some tips to simplify the process:
Prioritize sleep. Although it might feel easier to push back getting back into earlier bedtimes and wake-ups, it’s better to start early. Children need a lot of sleep, up to 12 hours per 24-hour period for elementary-aged kids and 10 hours per night for 18-year-olds. According to research from the American Academy of Pediatrics, only about half of U.S. children aged 6 to 17 are getting enough sleep. The impact of sleep deprivation includes less curiosity in learning new things, decreased care about schoolwork, and more challenges with emotional regulation and finishing tasks. Prioritizing rest will support your child’s academic and emotional growth throughout the year.
Create a schedule. Schedules look different for every family, and there isn’t a right way to create a schedule. Here are a couple tips to get started.
Incorporate fun visuals. Schedules with visuals are more accessible to children of all ages, as well as neurodivergent and disabled kids. They also allow us to get a “snapshot” of routines and expectations. Chalkboards, schedules on the fridge, or paper schedules taped to the wall are all ways to share what’s going on in a typical day or week with your family. Visuals can be photographs, silly emojis or symbols, or graphics. Think outside the box and involve your child in choosing the visuals to correspond with different times of the day (e.g., chores on the schedule might be a vacuum, broom, or dog on a leash). Even better, tap into creativity by inviting your child to design them!
Increase engagement. Since some families have caregivers who work in the evenings, and others early in the morning, think about the best way to familiarize your child with the flow of your day/week. Increase motivation by using a sticky note to write an affirmation to them that they’ll find each morning. Examples might include phrases like, “You’re special to me” or “I believe in you!” Another idea is to invite your child to check off certain chores or duties they have throughout the day. Alternatively, pictures can be moved into a “done” column after children complete them. Chores/tasks vary across age groups, with younger children helping with pets, cleaning up shared spaces and rooms, and watering the plants. Older children may drive to the grocery store to prepare for dinner, or pick up siblings at camp.
“Predictability can feel safe when we are experiencing anxiety about the uncertainty that transitions bring. ”
Tip 2: Co-create a learning space
Preparing to head back to school means that learning is likely on your child’s mind. All brains and bodies learn differently, and a dedicated learning space can increase your child’s motivation and focus. The learning space can be a desk in their room, or a quiet corner in a room in your house. Space can be hard to come by, but designating an area for studying, fun learning experiences, and homework can reduce distractions and foster a sense of ownership over their learning environment. Here are some ways you can optimize your child’s learning space.
Get organized. Whether your child has a bin of supplies like notebooks, pens, and art materials, or small organizers on their desk, creating an organizational system to help your child’s space stay clean is important. This can be incorporated into their daily or weekly routine (e.g., one of your chores is to tidy up your learning space).
Personalize to promote agency. For children using a bin, invite them to personalize it using stickers and other creative materials. Children who have a space with access to a wall can hang artwork, photos, or motivational quotes. This will add excitement when your child sits down to do a learning activity, read, or complete homework. Even more, personalizing the area, and items in the area, makes it a welcoming place where they are more likely to enjoy spending time.
“When challenging transitions arise, it’s important to foster a home environment where children feel safe to share their thoughts. ”
Tip 3: Promote open communication
When challenging transitions arise, it’s important to foster a home environment where children feel safe to share their thoughts. It’s equally as important for parents to feel comfortable sharing some of their own concerns coming into a new school year. While children may be worried about meeting new teachers, making friends, or academic pressures, parents may worry about their children fitting in, developing certain skills, having enough time with their child, or finding ways to support their child’s extracurricular interests financially. Here are some ways to prioritize effective communication.
Model active listening. Find downtime to give your child your full attention. Invite them to share their feelings about the new school year by asking open-ended questions such as, “How do you feel about going into ______?” (e.g., kindergarten, fourth grade, your sophomore year of college) or “Do you have any worries about next year? How can I help?” Include questions that invite your child to focus on the positives, such as “Is there anything you’re excited about for next year?”
Share from the heart. Relate to your child by sharing your own experiences, things that went well in school, activities you enjoyed, and struggles you had. Include strategies you used to get through difficult times, like making new friends when your schedule didn’t include classes with your best friend. Sharing openly with your child will cultivate a trustworthy relationship, encourage them to persevere through challenges, and help your child relate to you and feel more comfortable opening up in the future.
The science behind these recommendations:
April Brown (M.Ed) is a Trauma Informed Specialist and Peer Support Facilitator who advocates for teachers and students through inclusive curriculum development, educator wellness coaching, and teaching university courses. Formerly, April taught and held leadership positions in mainstream and alternative settings in the United States and internationally. She’s passionate about exploring how to disrupt structures that perpetuate systems of oppression and address unbalanced power dynamics at home and school so children thrive. She lives in Vermont with her young daughters, husband, and charming rottweilers. April is currently earning her MSW in Advanced Clinical Practice at Columbia University and a curriculum intern at Making Caring Common.
