15 questions to ask your child's teacher that aren't about grades

Parent-teacher conferences are about more than just academic performance. They offer a critical window into your child's social-emotional development and their contributions to their school community. While grades might reflect certain academic skills, understanding your child's ethical character and social engagement at school requires a deeper conversation.

Here are 15 questions, tailored for grades PreK - 12, to guide you in asking these important questions during your next teacher meeting. 

PreK - 2nd Grade

1. Can you tell me about a time my child showed empathy or helped another student? 

2. How does my child resolve conflict with their peers? Do they communicate effectively? 

3. Is my child comfortable participating in group activities and collaborating with others? 

4. How does my child react when they make mistakes? Do they check in and take responsibility? 

5. Are there any areas where I can support my child's social-emotional development at home? 

3rd - 6th Grade: 

1. How does my child navigate friendships and handle peer pressure? Do they seem confident in their choices even if others make different choices? 

2. Does my child show willingness to take risks and learn new things, even if they seem difficult? 

3. Do you see my child taking responsibility for their actions and mistakes? 

4. How does my child contribute to building a positive and inclusive classroom and school environment? 

5. Can you share any examples of my child showing critical thinking skills related to ethical dilemmas? 

7th - 12th Grade: 

1. Does my child have close relationships at school? Do they have friends that they regularly spend time with? Do they have trusting relationships with adults at school? 

2. How does my child handle academic challenges and setbacks? Do they persevere or do they tend to give up? 

3. Can you give examples of my child showing respect for diverse perspectives and cultures in the classroom? 

4. How does my child handle feedback from teachers? From peers? 

5. What opportunities does the school provide for my child to develop ethical decision-making skills and engage in civic responsibility? How can parents get involved? 

Remember, these are just starting points. Use these questions to spark a deeper conversation with your child's teacher to gain a more holistic understanding of their engagement with and contributions to their school community. 

Bonus Tip: Share your own observations of your child's social-emotional skills and ethical character outside of school—at home, in your neighborhood, and in other contexts—with their teacher. And don’t forget to ask what you can do to help support social-emotional and ethical development at home! 

Posted by Alison Cashin, Director of Communications

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