10 Ways to Start Your Child's Day with Caring and Empathy
Mornings are hectic. Between getting kids out of bed on time, packing lunches, and finding shoes, most parents aren’t thinking about the morning hustle as the time to flex their kids’ empathy muscles.
But however busy we are in the morning, many of us do take a moment to begin our kids’ days with a positive message about what’s important to us. “I love you.” “Work hard.” “Why are you wearing shorts, it’s 40 degrees outside?” Those last few words we say to our children before they board the bus or climb the stairs to school set the tone for the rest of their day and helps us communicate our values to them.
This second point is especially important. In Making Caring Common’s first report, The Children We Mean to Raise, we uncovered a “rhetoric/reality gap,” a disconnect between what parents and other adults say are our top priorities and the real messages we convey to our kids through our day-to-day behavior. If we value caring and empathy, the report says, we need to “walk the talk” and use key moments—such as the before-school goodbye—to inspire and motivate our kids to incorporate these values into their lives. In other words, if we want our children to prioritize caring, they need to see us prioritizing it, too.
Below are a few ideas for including messages about caring and empathy into before-school goodbyes. Before long, they’ll become part of your routine. (Note: if any of these are met with eye-rolling from tweens or teens, move onto the next one!)
If you have 5 seconds, send them off with a quick message that highlights caring.
I love you! Be kind today.
I love that you’re such a kind kid. Have a great day.
You make the world a better place. I’m so proud of you.
You’re such a caring kid. I’m so proud to be your parent.
If you have a few minutes, brainstorm how your child can be caring that day.
What's one thing you can do today to help make someone else's day better?
What are some ways that you could be a good friend today?
Who is someone at school that you could say hi to who you haven’t said hi to yet?
Is there someone new you could invite to sit with you at lunch today?
Let’s think of something kind that you can do at school today, and then you can tell me about it later at home.
If you don’t see your child before school in the morning, think of creative ways to get them thinking about caring as they start their day.
If your child is old enough to read, try writing them a note to slip into their backpack or lunch bag. If they have a smartwatch or phone, try texting them when they’re on their way to school to share some of the quick messages above. If all else fails, talk to them at night! Ask if they did anything kind for anyone at school that day, or if anyone did anything kind for them.
Posted by Alison Cashin, Director of Communications
