8 Tips for Managing Parent-Teen Anxiety
We all feel some form of worry at times, whether it’s about our child’s sleep or eating habits, our performance at work, or paying next month’s rent. Often, our day-to-day worries are normal and manageable. But when these feelings are intense, frequent, and impact everyday activities, they may be a sign of anxiety.
When you have anxiety and also have a teen with anxiety, these challenges can be compounded. It’s a common scenario. In fact, data from our recent report, Caring for the Caregivers: The Critical Link Between Parent and Teen Mental Health, suggests that anxious teens are about three times more likely than non-anxious teens to have an anxious parent. And as the report also points out, “depressed or anxious parents and teens can inflame and wound each other in many ways.”
Yet at the same time, when we have anxiety as parents, we can be very helpful to our anxious teens. We often have insights about what causes anxiety, about coping strategies, and about healthy habits that can prevent or mitigate anxiety.
To improve the health and wellbeing of families with both a parent and a child who struggle with anxiety, it’s important for parents to avoid behaviors that escalate their own or their teens’ anxiety and, instead, to seek to utilize their own knowledge and insights. Below are eight guideposts to help guide parents in this process.
Understand how anxiety works. A key factor of anxiety is how the feelings and physiological responses in your body can make you feel like something is wrong and cause you to scan for worries, problems, and issues. This often can make problems snowball—and can impact how you parent and your relationship with your child. It’s critical to educate yourself about anxiety disorders, their symptoms, and available treatments.
Increase self-awareness by paying attention to your own anxiety patterns, including what your anxiety feels like, what it looks like, and how it impacts your thoughts and behaviors. This awareness can help you catch anxiety earlier and make positive changes.
Practical tip: Reflect on your thinking traps, which are cognitive distortions or irrational thoughts that impact your emotions and behaviors, and your negative self-talk patterns, and work to reframe them. Try our Positive Self-Talk activity on your own and with your teen.
Identify your support system, which can include friends, family, and mental health professionals. Reach out for support when you need it, both to help manage your anxiety and to normalize seeking help for your teen.
Practice healthy coping skills. Develop and utilize healthy coping mechanisms, such as talking to a friend, meditating, or going for a walk, that help you manage your anxiety. This not only benefits you but also models healthy behaviors for your teen.
Practical tip: Try activities like the circles of control exercise to reduce stress and employ grounding techniques like deep breathing or guided meditation.
Sit with the discomfort. When your teen is anxious, be okay with their discomfort and difficult feelings. Provide space for them to feel and move through difficult emotions. Remind yourself and your teen that all emotions are valid, even if some are more challenging to manage. Share your own experiences with anxiety in appropriate ways to show empathy and help make your teen feel understood.
Listen and brainstorm. When your teen is anxious, try not to jump in and solve their problems immediately. Instead, practice empathetic listening, support your teen, and brainstorm with your teen what might help relieve their anxiety. Allow them to take the lead in navigating and overcoming their challenges.
Take a break. When you feel triggered by your teen’s anxiety, take a break if possible and engage in a healthy coping skill. Let your teen know that you are feeling anxious and about what you need to do to manage your anxiety in that moment. Know when you need to tap out and ask for support. If you do need to step away, reach out to a trusted, caring adult, such as a parent, family member, or friend, who can support your teen while you are managing your own anxious feelings. Come back to your teen when you feel more grounded.
Consider professional guidance. If anxiety significantly affects your or your teen’s daily life, seeking professional help may be beneficial. Consult with a mental health professional, such as a primary care physician or school counselor, to explore appropriate options and interventions.
To learn more about the critical link between parent and teen mental health, and to find more resources for managing mental health challenges, read our recent report.
Posted by Alison Cashin, Director of Communications
