How To Help Kids Show Gratitude
Encourage kids to show their thanks in ways that feel right to them, as long as they’re truly thoughtful about their gratitude, direct about it, and genuine. While some may express themselves better through writing, others might prefer videos or drawings, and some might feel most comfortable with a simple in-person message. The most important part is to guide kids through the process of identifying who or what they’re grateful for, why, and how they want to show that gratitude. Adults should model this process too so that kids can really come to understand it and want to do it themselves.
Below are four key steps for adults to help kids practice showing their gratitude.
1. Make a list of people
Set aside a few minutes to take turns and share who has made each of your lives better, given you something, or been helpful in some way. That person could be a family member, friend, classmate, co-worker, or someone neither of you know, such as the mayor of your city or your mail carrier.
2. Create a thank-you message
This could be a written note, an email, a fun video, a drawing, or another creative way to show your thanks. Have kids describe what someone did or has done for them, and how it makes them or others feel. Emphasize being genuine and vulnerable, and that it’s ok to open up, especially to those we take for granted! Below are suggestions for what goes into a thank-you note, along with an example message.
What goes in a thank-you note
Sample thank-you note
3. Show or express your thank-you message
There are many ways to show your thanks. For example, mail a card or drawing, email or text a photo, send a short video, or put a message on your window. Do this together so kids can learn. If they’ve never mailed a card or letter before, for example, you can show them how.
4. Make it a habit
Showing gratitude doesn’t have to be a big production. You can encourage it by reminding kids to say thank you genuinely, particularly in unexpected moments, or to show it by doing caring things in return. Whatever the method, remind kids to show their thanks by regularly asking them simple questions or giving them nudges, like suggesting, “How about we take some time this afternoon to think of ways we want to show our thanks to someone from the week?”
Overview
For: Parents, Caregivers, and Adults who engage with kids
Ages: 7-10
Resource Type: Activity
Prompts to encourage kids to show their thanks
Additional Information
The Science Behind These Recommendations
Gratitude is a topic that has been researched extensively. Here are key resources we consulted - in addition to experts and parents - that are behind the recommendations shared on this page:
Emmons, R. A., & McCullough, M. E. (2003). Counting blessings versus burdens: An empirical investigation of gratitude and subjective well-being in daily life. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84, 377–389. [Abstract]
Kini, P., Wong, J., McInnis, S., Gabana, N., & Brown, J. W. (2016). The effects of gratitude expression on neural activity. Neuroimage,128, 1-10. [Abstract]
Williams, L. A., & Bartlett, M. A. (2014). Warm Thanks: Gratitude expression facilitates social affiliation in new relationships via perceived warmth. Emotion, 15, 1-5. [Abstract]
